Before the ‘Emergency’

My latest ‘profound’ observation about the fires-  where they are burning- vast spaces- people have a very real understanding and fear of them. 

And…where the smoke blows, blanketing the city, breathing pollution, millions of people  come to have a very real understanding and fear of them.

No one escapes these fires. No one. One way or another.

Also there is something about nature— we do not honour her enough, only notice when she wreaks havoc.  We all should take more care of her in the ‘normal’ times. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was the first Emergency Day.

Very odd to be the focus of the news reports, which were steady coming along all day.

The threat was real, from another direction than I thought- through the front gate, not from the back bush creek area. 

Fear for my beloved precious mulch pile. I always say it is worth more than gold, yea, than much fine gold.

But it sure would burn. Easy. Quick. Charcoal ashes.

Drove to Kings where my dream of an asbestos (HA HA!) covering did not exist, fibre sheets $200 per mtr, and so bought another hose. Dragged 3 hoses to the front to wet down the pile, but very low pressure, such a long way, so  ran or, more often, drove up to the front to move the sprinkler, just to wet down the edges.

The light was different,  very beautiful, and a lot of smoke haze but not the low visibility as warned. No wind.  

Suddenly there were little movements and over came more black leaves and ash.

Do we start to get ready?

Talk with neighbour Jenny, who to my surprise has had her horses moved and was getting her car ready with her ‘valuables’.

I was ready.

I am ready. 

Came back to the cool house to rest and read and then, make Constance’s date loaf! Cooking focuses the mind.

And then a message from a woman named Fay, who comes to Friday meditation- come and stay at her house in Richmond. Much nicer than evacuating to the Richmond club with a world of others. Thanks so much.

Radio went on to steady coverage and suddenly we were hearing about terrible flare up of fire to the south, far from us, 40 houses lost, 2 fireys injured. Bad. But good for us. 

While also suddenly Bilpin Mt Tomah re =flared up.  Roads closed again.

Nursing home in Kurrajong evacuated- imagine that job, and done so sweetly.. and Bowen Mountain- one road in- evacuate.

And then…this is a story of “and then’s”

Called my favourite fireman who lives behind me and asked his advice, He is old expert and right on top, as on top as one can be…and he said, what with the wind changes and cooler easier tomorrow,  fine to stay . Re – think for Saturday when temps go back up to mid 40’s. So Date loaf can wait til I have to evacuate to dear Fay, and we can all sleep well tonight.

Part of the frantic news coverage , and on so many fronts, is the confusion- advised to stay inside , cool and better air, no noise, and then you miss the ash and leaves and might not know of a change happening. So how alert to stay or be?

As I sit here, after yum dinner and wine, I think of those incredibly brave men and women still out there, fighting those fires, working to keep the likes of me safe. And it can turn in a matter of minutes as it did today in the south. Some of those volunteers lost their houses.. (although I cling to the fact that Peter, my neighbour fireman, will save his house first.) (or mine?)

(They keep repeating, there cannot be a fire truck in every driveway.)

Imponderables. 

And meanwhile treasuring every moment of cool, which is now and for the night, ahaaa….with gratitude.

The in – between day

Cool clear morning, so hard to believe that our Mega fire is roaring elsewhere, doing terrible damage, and  already taken two dear lives. But the lovely day here remained, a bit hotter but not bad. Odd to notice that this very dry air, that air which has no air in it, is new to me. The wet air and heat- called humidity! Is what really drains me, but it is what we  pray for now, as the dry air is  worse  for the fires, perhaps created by the fires- sucks all the moisture out of the air? ( I feel guilty preferring it!)

Moved the hose to ’protect ‘ my beloved mulch pile and then discovered indeed there are a few sheets of tin in the tin shed, neatly stacked behind a wire holding them in and impossible for me to budge, but one of our ‘protectors’ (Nathan, J’s son) agreed to extricate them and throw them on the mulch tomorrow, bless him.

Visited Fay to know where I will head if I have to head there,  sweet.

And enjoyed the rest of the day, ignoring the drama til the evening tv which devoted nearly all the bulletin to it. And so to rest..til the next.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This week Rick Morton (journo)  spoke with dozens of volunteer firefighters battling at the front lines this summer. At every turn, they described conditions that are more ferocious, sustained and unpredictable than any season in living memory.

“It is just very scary; it is unstoppable,” says Megalong Valley volunteer Malcolm Scott. “In the past, we always could round a fire up and stop it. Not this.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another in-between:

So far so good.  Another cool clear dry morning, heaven, as we headed for the mid 40s and did not get there (why not?) (thanks!).

Dash out early to market which was crowded and worse affected folk pretty calm. Always surprises me- is it me that adds so much d r a m a?? But then the chief Fire boss  at press meeting sounds actually scared,  deploying many more trucks and men.  

~~~~~~~~~~

C A T A S T R O P H E.

As this was going the be The Worst Day, I did my thing with hoses, and came back to do more packing- with Christmas clothes and presents as well into the car, in case I can not get back before. Endless stories of people who long to get back (to see what happened) and have to wait. And wait. 

Decided my mantra was: prepare and relax.

So I did.  Rationing myself to short periods  of the breathless news. ABC  now a has regular radio station reporting on nothing else. All day.  Fascinating and unnerving, and …unnecessary?  At least it brings up nervousness in me which I do not need.  The many facebook sites also filled with semi facts and heavy warnings. Leave now. No. Not offical.  Some leave, some do not. 

Excellent map showing area which is in  line to burn plus  cross hatched areas where there might be ember attacks. Still a ways away from us. Second favourite Fireman Nathan, Judy’s son, working a little further up from us (closer to danger?)  said we are fine. Still waiting for that southerly buster.

As the afternoon progressed the light became  eerie. Pinky grey, bright red sun, and then quite dark, very dark at 4 pm. Turned the lights on inside and they are blue! 

An end of the world feeling. 

Which it is, where it is, and not that far. 

In between I keep thinking of those men and women fighting these fires. A uniquely Aussie thing? Every village, every area,  has a fire ‘brigade’. Entrenched in the culture- probably the best of all Aussie phenomenon. And all brilliantly coordinated. (Not well enough funded but that is sure to change if nothing else is.) The spirit, the sacrifices of these people. And then the word goes out for donations to this or that one, towards Christmas dinner or kids’ presents and thousands of dollars rush in. The generosity. And other volunteers gather to make sandwiches and clean eskies, and make tea for them when they come in. Safe places for animals are earmarked. People open their homes and paddocks for pets.

Yesterday as local cafe was closing the cook came out with her cat in a cage, brought along just in case! (Another – the- very good reason I do not have them!) (Judy’s dog Jack has gone to stay with  her son, whew!) 

Well, the southerly buster came though, violent and brief and beautiful and the sky was restored to its usual colour and there was no dramatic scarily advertised thunderstorm which can create a storm that could connect fires, disastrous. And there followed indecision: be kind to Fay and go early, or have supper and wait, and then go or…where are my advisors? 

When soon  Nathan texted: ok to stay, and… they will call – door knock- at any time in the night, door to door, to evacuate. If necessary.

My other mantra is T R U S T. 

But it was disorienting to have our local fire centre Wilberforce on the News as the centre. (Among other centres in the south!)  But it seems, it is worse above us, both Bilpin and beyond. Blackheath evacuating!   And that ABC radio station still broadcasting constant news…all night? 

Had supper and some wine and taking my bath, and sleeping, I hope, right through!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another peaceful night, and yet another cool clear bright morning. “Hard to believe”- the other repetitive thought- danger is or was so close.

Busy contemplating near and far, or close. Depending on,  reasons? Bowen Mountain and Kurrajong Heights near, and also far, if I want them to be. Where the fires approach. By winding roads, it is one thing, over the valley and hills, another- which is closer, or further? Which way will the fire come, if it comes, when it comes?

The real definition for now is how far embers fly, or how near do they come? And that depends on the wind which can change in a moment and even blow in both directions at once. Yes, unbelievable. Both directions at once. Fire condition related?

Every fire fighter, every survivor, every person interviewed says they never, never ever saw anything like this. Never. Ever. That other repeated word: unprecedented, unbelievable.

It has been months burning. And summer is more months to come. 

Also contemplating what is helpful and what is not. The friend who is due S, SE of me, a valley and a half away,  says he is ready for spot fires. Actually they are not there, not yet,  not helpful for me to hear. Glad he is ready and, me, too. Ready to leave before spot fires approach. Ok for him to tell me spot fires are there, alight. Off I go!

And the photo of Tutti Frutti in Bilpin, burned to bits- helpful? Right now maybe not. Depressing, sad, and there is nothing I can do except begin to miss their yummy asparagus quiches. Which I do not need to do.

I  try to stop myself from thinking about the incredible damage to the country the bush the mountains the trees the parks the animals the beauty the state. Plenty of time to do that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Best news is that people are allowed back to Bowen Mountain and Kurrajong Heights this morning- where did the fire go? Another direction.

And Jenny brought the horses home. Out of danger? 

Thing is, that fire is not out. It is elsewhere. But we can relax. For now. 

Equanimity, that even keel. Steady as she goes. And I can feel it when she tilts.

Ration news info to 3x a day. Enough.

Prepare. Relax. Trust.

~~~~~~~~~~

New Years Eve

Woke up to cool, always treasure cool, as now am already sweating at 10 am, thinking: this is one of those days to get through.

Get through. A new way of living. Not exactly living. Living as I know/knew it. 

“Very serious fire danger” but not ‘catastrophic’, nor ‘emergency’.  That is,  for us. In this area. Big relief?  Not when thinking about those others on the edge of being affected. 

Just heard of another death of a young fireman, wife expecting their  first baby. The truck was blown over in the wind, wind created by the fire. Not a leaf trembling here, and that particular fire only 40 k away. Just imagine , wind strong enough to blow over a heavy fire truck. And kill a young man. The power of that fire to create its own weather system. Create its own wind.

This is ‘getting through’. 

Listen to the ‘alerts’ Pay attention. And then move on.

Getting through.

Look at the map showing where our Mega fire may spread, and the area where embers may fall. Not a good idea. Too close to here.  Or is that area actually far? My old contemplation about near and far.

Move on.

Get the bag packed for overseas trip, ready to put in the car in case of another evacuation alert. 

Prepare and relax.

Relax. 

Get through. None of us know or can plan for tomorrow.

Move the hoses.

With love…